Missing Sense of Life somewhere in Jet lag

It's extremely difficult for me to write in english now. Two reasons for it:
- after EuroCo I feel that my level of english is "not enough".
- i feel like i'm putting pieces of Lego together: nice, intersting but will never be real cosy house that you can create from match-boxes.
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Today I woke up at 7 a.m. , disappointed, sad, loosing sense of life.
It happens sometimes: I look at Myself and can't find anything to love this person for. I look at all my mistakes, failures, "not dones" and feel "not good enough" to be with people who call me "friend", "daughter", "president".