New post in ten days. And topic is almost the same. I'm again working at night. But that's not the reason I'm writing.
It'll be a bit about people. A LOT about people. Only about people.
When it becomes too difficult to keep eyes open at 3 a.m., I start thinking about those whom I love. Who are may be far from me. Or few hours by train. I imagine their faces, their voices, I imagine them being happy. And that's make life a bit easier.
The reason I'm writing here is that they don't know how much I love them, how much I just want to hug, to look attentively at the faces, to close eyes and listen to the sound of voice.
I don't tell a lot "I love you". Why?
***
Thanks for Ira (and I have no idea, how you've found this blog, darling:) for reminding this famous Steve Jobs' speach. There are some things which I hate because they are too common for aiesecers. Kind of a "list of wise things". 7 habits & other-shit-you-must-read-see-do-before-you-become-exaiesecer. And CEO of Apple2, may be? Or not?
I value experiences. He created Apple at his parent's house. What did YOU already do. What are the thing you have been fighting for? Why are YOU the hero, the person who are right guy to make these kind of speaches?
But anyway Jobs is awesome.
***
2,5 hours of meeting with a guy who suppose to teach us to think in a different way. To use approach which'll allow us to solve basic problems. I don't like his shirt. And trousers were too short. Does this mean anything? Or smart & successful person not necessary is good looking & stylish? The answer is obvious. And, yes, I'm guilty in paying a lot of attention to the appearance (top 3 guys-who-are-perfect-in-official-clothes: Sasha Annaev, Dey & Deniss).
***
Next ten days will show a lot. Marina was right, the middle of April will be hot.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Hero with pencil & bicycle
Results of the weekend are much better than I expected.
On Saturday - a bit of magic.
I put our flipchart board (how this thing is really called) in the center of the room, found a lamp, took my pencils, paints, photos of my friends and... yes, for the few hours I was drawing. It's so amazing when your body remember some things and you realize it only when you do it. Swimming is like that, or dancing viennese waltz (correct spelling?) - actually, I don't remember more ball dances. But can dance with good partner, only following him. The last one was Laci in Hungary...Ok, back to Saturday.
Line by line I was creating faces, choosing colours, putting shadows. I felt kind of inner happiness, as I was back to myself.
My mother sometimes calls me "fan", cause I'm totally "in" what I'm doing at the moment, what I love. To be sincere, it's incredibly hard for me to keep balance in life. So, I can easily forget things that I can, that I did, that I'm good at. I never use it for promo or building "personal brand". But I probably should.
So, the result may be not perfect for professionals. But it's awesome for me. I put the picture on the wall near my table (close to the list of the cities I want to go to, photo from Kyrgyzstan with amazing mountaines, transition schedule & Kolb's learning circle). I've put it as a reminder for myself - what else I can do except being Aisecer:)
***
Sunday was much more lazy. No! Common, I've opened "bicycle season" in the park! (a bit dirty, but still inspiring). And started to put my Cairo notes to livejournal. And found notes from 21 day long trip to Siberia & Ural. That's againg what I can do. May be not perfect for professionals...shit! It's the area in which I supposed to be professional.
***
Masha came back from some NGO conference, Lesha was online yesterday & decided to come to Moscow on Wednesday. They are together now. And, guys, they are so, so, so nice (I can't find right word).
And I'm really miss him & our random talks & complains (which two successful people can share with each other), our jokes & stories from the past. Talking to him I realized once again what is friendship and how much it means for me. And what you need to go through toghether to call person a "friend".
I remember the moment I've fallen in love with him. I remeber how we were walking all night long in St.Pete drinking wine, and another bottle of wine in Novosibirsk right after my first MC elections. I remember the seminar which we created in July'05 - and it was starting point for too many personal stories that I have no space to mention all of them. I remember Cristmas year ago when I almost missed my plane to Koenig, when I was angry, tired, lonely. I remember walk in the forest to the gulf (we didn't find it), when we talked a lot. I remeber jazz hall on my birthday & tickets to Moscow he bought to me and a lot of, a lot of random talks again. And ppt he made for me after my MCP speach. The only person who could make fucking funny ppt about serious things I was sharing. I even remember first Mars chocolate shared. I remember. Because I love him so much.
I've told to CEE MCPs, when we were sitting on the beach, that I have smth in my memory about each of them. And I do. I love people. That's the thing I shouldn't forget. Cause it's much more complicated to remind than simple drawing.
On Saturday - a bit of magic.
I put our flipchart board (how this thing is really called) in the center of the room, found a lamp, took my pencils, paints, photos of my friends and... yes, for the few hours I was drawing. It's so amazing when your body remember some things and you realize it only when you do it. Swimming is like that, or dancing viennese waltz (correct spelling?) - actually, I don't remember more ball dances. But can dance with good partner, only following him. The last one was Laci in Hungary...Ok, back to Saturday.
Line by line I was creating faces, choosing colours, putting shadows. I felt kind of inner happiness, as I was back to myself.
My mother sometimes calls me "fan", cause I'm totally "in" what I'm doing at the moment, what I love. To be sincere, it's incredibly hard for me to keep balance in life. So, I can easily forget things that I can, that I did, that I'm good at. I never use it for promo or building "personal brand". But I probably should.
So, the result may be not perfect for professionals. But it's awesome for me. I put the picture on the wall near my table (close to the list of the cities I want to go to, photo from Kyrgyzstan with amazing mountaines, transition schedule & Kolb's learning circle). I've put it as a reminder for myself - what else I can do except being Aisecer:)
***
Sunday was much more lazy. No! Common, I've opened "bicycle season" in the park! (a bit dirty, but still inspiring). And started to put my Cairo notes to livejournal. And found notes from 21 day long trip to Siberia & Ural. That's againg what I can do. May be not perfect for professionals...shit! It's the area in which I supposed to be professional.
***
Masha came back from some NGO conference, Lesha was online yesterday & decided to come to Moscow on Wednesday. They are together now. And, guys, they are so, so, so nice (I can't find right word).
And I'm really miss him & our random talks & complains (which two successful people can share with each other), our jokes & stories from the past. Talking to him I realized once again what is friendship and how much it means for me. And what you need to go through toghether to call person a "friend".
I remember the moment I've fallen in love with him. I remeber how we were walking all night long in St.Pete drinking wine, and another bottle of wine in Novosibirsk right after my first MC elections. I remember the seminar which we created in July'05 - and it was starting point for too many personal stories that I have no space to mention all of them. I remember Cristmas year ago when I almost missed my plane to Koenig, when I was angry, tired, lonely. I remember walk in the forest to the gulf (we didn't find it), when we talked a lot. I remeber jazz hall on my birthday & tickets to Moscow he bought to me and a lot of, a lot of random talks again. And ppt he made for me after my MCP speach. The only person who could make fucking funny ppt about serious things I was sharing. I even remember first Mars chocolate shared. I remember. Because I love him so much.
I've told to CEE MCPs, when we were sitting on the beach, that I have smth in my memory about each of them. And I do. I love people. That's the thing I shouldn't forget. Cause it's much more complicated to remind than simple drawing.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Back to Moscow
Friday evening, all plans for the week have "done" status. Mission is completed.
And I have NO IDEA what to do next two days. I promised myself not to work (you know, some ppl practice meditation, me - not working on weekends).
***
Yesterday I experienced few things:
- drinking beer online with Ira & discussing male part of IPM. Nice. Question about my personal life (or its absence) is here again.
- reading blogs of people whom I now know personally. Sometimes wanted to cry, sometimes to hug.
- talking to Marina about religion. I want to read the main Books of three religions. Cause now I still can't define my attitude.
***
Marina & Katya left for Expro. Chat with Victor. They are brilliant. They are stubborn. They will miss their countries. They'll understand how much they need & miss parents, friends. How important that somebody loves you. What means to give 100%. To be tired. To paint the walls in our flat. To cry together. To feel Russia. To be afraid. To be responsible. To be themselves.
***
Back to my weekend. No work. No movies-all-day-long. No msn.
Have no fucking idea what I will be doing.
And I have NO IDEA what to do next two days. I promised myself not to work (you know, some ppl practice meditation, me - not working on weekends).
***
Yesterday I experienced few things:
- drinking beer online with Ira & discussing male part of IPM. Nice. Question about my personal life (or its absence) is here again.
- reading blogs of people whom I now know personally. Sometimes wanted to cry, sometimes to hug.
- talking to Marina about religion. I want to read the main Books of three religions. Cause now I still can't define my attitude.
***
Marina & Katya left for Expro. Chat with Victor. They are brilliant. They are stubborn. They will miss their countries. They'll understand how much they need & miss parents, friends. How important that somebody loves you. What means to give 100%. To be tired. To paint the walls in our flat. To cry together. To feel Russia. To be afraid. To be responsible. To be themselves.
***
Back to my weekend. No work. No movies-all-day-long. No msn.
Have no fucking idea what I will be doing.
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